PEACE

In our stressful, busy world, peace of mind is illusive. Yet, if you think about it, peace is worth far more than most of the things we are striving for. Peace is also the foundation for joy and love. In fact, it is at the core of most personal growth. If you want real change, then here is where you start, for you don't really change by working on more peripheral issues. Yet, most, simply don't know where to begin finding peace.

So how do we find it? It helps to break the issue into two parts - moral and circumstantial peace. When we can be at peace with ourselves with respect to the choices we make, and be content with our circumstances, even when they don't seem to be working out well, we have found the foundation for real peace.

So how do we find the first part of the equation, moral peace? The easy answer is to live consistently with our value system. However, the attempt to do that more often thwarts the goal of peace rather than facilitating it. Why is that?

Our moral make up tends to be excessively critical and judgmental. Our efforts to do right are often met by self-recrimination and frustration. We can never really get it right. Our moral make up seems to sabotage the process. We can't find peace without trying to do right and yet we can't find it by making that effort either. We experience the proverbial being "damned if you do and damned if you don't."

We have discovered an age-old problem. You can't get to moral peace by directly attempting to do right. When we try the direct approach we end up frustrated and defeated or become pharisaical. So am I saying it's impossible? No, I'm simply saying that moral peace must be approached from what I would call a spiritual perspective to be successful.

So what does that mean? Spirituality involves some sort of relationship with God. Why is that necessary to find moral peace? There must be a transition from experiencing our choices through the punitive nature of our moral make up to where they are dealt with relationally, in the context of love. If we accept God as our moral authority, dealing with us in love and understanding, we can find the appropriate moral atmosphere for facilitating real growth. You could say it is a type of "reparenting". A loving God becomes our new father, and we experience our struggle for growth through that relationship.

In other words, we must replace our normal, more rigid and judgmental moral perspective with a relationship with God that deals with us according to the flexible principles of a loving relationship. Here we find understanding rather than judgment, mercy and compassion rather than guilt, and real acceptance rather than the conditional approval of our legalistic moral make up.

From a biblical understanding these two different relationships to right and wrong are characterized as the covenants of law and grace. Let's look at these covenants. The old covenant, our normal way of dealing with things, is basically a moral taskmaster that functions much like our civil law. It was awakened at the fall of man, as symbolized biblically by the "Tree of the knowledge of good and evil." This old covenant helps maintain moral order in society by impressing upon us our moral responsibility and enforcing that through our conscience. It pressures and prods us toward appropriate actions or brings guilt if we fail. The old covenant is the default covenant. It's for those without a healthy relationship with God that motivates change through different principles.

Because of this old covenant, our relationship to right and wrong is often unhealthy. From trying to loose those extra pounds to more significant moral issues, we can feel guilty when we don't measure up; or experience a lack of freedom, when we comply primarily out of a sense of duty, moral pressure, or responsibility. Since there are so many good and right things, we can easily feel burdened. The Bible states it like this. "The law (what we feel we should do) works wrath." In other words, our standards of right can easily turn into a moral taskmaster.

We basically have a problem with our moral makeup. It has to do with the nature of our conscience. The conscience tends to be punitive and rigid unless softened by healthy parental models. Even then, our conscience does not deal with us relationally, with the ability to listen, flex with the situation, and give mercy and understanding. These relational qualities are unavailable to our conscience. It's not that the conscience is necessarily wrong with respect to the "what" it addresses; it's more a matter of attitude. The conscience does not give us the room we need, or provide the quality of relationship essential for healthy growth. It's also easy to equate the attitudes of our conscience, performance focused, pressuring and badgering us into compliance, with the way we see God, for it's often seen as His voice. This misconception negatively affects that critical relationship.

The new covenant of grace changes us in an entirely different manner. It is founded on God's love and therefore requires a relationship to be experienced. Grace forgives us for our failings but also creates a new relationship with our standards. It focuses us on new attitudes that create a new way of relating to right and wrong. As we are confronted by choices we must now ask the question, how would God's love relate to me? We now have a choice. We can live in our old covenant relationship, with respect to our behavior, or choose to experience the healing atmosphere of God's grace.

Two stories help illustrate this. When the rooster crowed that Friday morning, Peter was confronted with his betrayal of Jesus. He had promised his fidelity, yet he had just denied his friend. Then Peter saw Jesus. The look of love, acceptance, and compassion on Jesus' face was in stark contrast to the self-condemnation Peter was experiencing. The grace he saw there, broke his heart. Peter now understood that Jesus related to him according to a different set of principles, the principles of grace.

Then there was the adulterous woman whom the Pharisees threw at Jesus' feet for judgment. Instead, after Jesus had artfully dispersed the crowd by pointing out their own shame and hypocrisy, He looked at the woman and asked her, "Where are your accusers." She looked around and saw no one and acknowledged that. Jesus then said to her, with a look of acceptance and love, "Neither do I condemn you." That act touched her heart and turned her life around. She saw that there was a principle, very different from that of the judgmental Pharisees, by which she could live her life.

These stories illustrate the principle of grace. Both of these individuals had failed. However, condemnation accomplishes little when it comes to real change. If we accept the fact that we are flawed, grace accomplishes far more.

We have the opportunity to experience grace every day. Life brings us choices. We can choose to do right in the context of our rigid and judgmental old covenant, or rebel, neither of which will bring peace. However, we can also submit to the merciful "rule" of God's grace.

Grace calls us to submit to God who then calls the shots regarding our behavior. We can find moral peace in that setting because we submit to a person, and the flexibility of a healthy relationship, not simply to a standard mediated by our conscience. Grace creates a relationship where values exist in an atmosphere of freedom.

Freedom is critical to spiritual growth. Although the new covenant continues to offer us the guidance of truth, there is no pressure to obey. As we're confronted by issues we need to address, we must take hold of the freedom we have in grace and refuse to succumb to the negative attitudes of our conscience. Our moral dictator must be dethroned. The atmosphere surrounding our choices must be reframed through grace. We must experience change through that relational atmosphere. Here are a few of the qualities of grace.

· God changes me by His loving influence, not moral pressure.
· He meets me where I am and seeks to connect with me in my world.
· He accepts me just as I am, forgives my failings, and loves me no matter what I do.
· He is understanding and compassionate toward my weaknesses.
· He gives me the freedom, opportunity, and room I need to grow.
· He gives me freedom to be me, while inspiring me to be all that I can be.
· He doesn't badger, guilt, or pressure, instead, He gives me encouragement, security, understanding, love, and support, even when I fail miserably.
· He listens empathically and communicates horizontally.
· He has established a value system that simply mirrors reality. That truth works. He leaves it to me to incorporate that into my life because I have faith that it's the best thing I can do for myself. I seek His guidance for the same reason.
· If need be, God uses circumstances and consequences to confront self-destructive behavior.

Too often we fail to persist in our efforts to connect with God's grace/love. We must take hold of that truth, even when our feelings deny it. We must view every situation through the filter of God's love. How would His love relate to us now? Each day we need to turn our minds to God's love and walk with Him, letting that love color everything.

The world of psychology is catching on to this Biblical principle. Numerous studies report that, irrespective of the therapeutic approach used, it is the nature of the client-therapist relationship that primarily impacts the healing process. When our stress and pain are filtered through God's loving attitudes, healing takes place. The freedom and sense of empowerment we experience allows us to grow in a healthy manner.

THOUGHTS, FEELINGS and ACTIONS
Understanding our behavior can be helpful in understanding the path to peace. There are three main aspects that affect our behavior - our thoughts, feelings, and actions. These interact. However, it can be helpful to know where to place our emphasis.

Focusing on our feelings is probably least helpful when it comes to changing our behavior. Sure, they are powerful motivators, however dealing with them directly is like herding cats. Our feelings also seldom see things from a spiritual perspective. We can, though, help contain them by talking things out with someone who is willing to listen, as in prayer.

Our actions also affect our behavior. If we understand our problem areas, we can make choices that will make it easier to move in the right direction. More importantly, there are certain choices we need to make in order to have moral peace. There are some things we aren't going to feel OK with morally speaking. Here, we need to start holding the line. This is not to make us right with God, but to facilitate peace with ourselves. Grace then, creates the atmosphere that allows us to be at peace without perfection. Peace and love then motivate real change.

We must avoid the trap of overload and perfectionism. Grace allows us to avoid sweating over the small stuff. When you really think about it, there are usually only a few big things that we really need to come to terms with at any given time. Grace appropriately allows many things to slide while we deal with the big issues. This helps us avoid being preoccupied with change thus taking our minds off the real source of change, God's grace.

Finally, there are our thoughts. Shakespeare said, "there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." What we believe to be true about something has a profound affect on both our feelings and behavior. If we're paranoid, thinking that everyone is out to get us, that thinking will have a significant impact on us. If we want to impact our feelings and behavior, it's here we should place our emphasis.

It's much like a pilot flying by his instruments. When visibility is poor, a pilot is taught to ignore how he feels and determine reality by looking at the information his instruments provide. If he does this he is safe. If not, if he responds to what his feelings tell him, he may crash.

For example, suppose someone has just broken up with the "person of their dreams." If they truly believe that God is directing the circumstances of their life, for their good, their reaction to that break up will be profoundly different from the person who believes they are pretty much on their own. They see things through their instruments, God's word, rather than their feelings.

ACCEPTANCE (surrender/submission)
Faith in God should lead us to accept our circumstances. This is the other component to the peace equation. Our lives are too full of longing. We feel we need this or must have that. We don't look right, don't have enough stuff, things aren't going the way we want. We must take hold the fact that, if we have placed ourselves in God's hands, He is working all our circumstances together for our good. We don't have to look like Brad Pitt, or Jennifer Aniston. We don't have to be an Einstein. God has a place for us in life that fits just right. He will provide for us. And those tough situations, He is using them to aide our growth. This understanding changes everything. Knowing that God is working things for our good creates a positive perspective that lifts us above our temporary difficulties. In other words, if a good God has allowed it, then, in some way, it's good for me. Learning to accept our circumstances brings peace.

The issue of acceptance and surrender/submission are tied together. One can't possibly expect God to orchestrate their lives for good if they fail to cooperate with Him.

Acceptance impacts our tendency to be dissatisfied, always looking for greener grass. It allows us to "let go and let God." We choose to let go of our perceived needs and expectations, because we trust that our loving God has our best interests at heart, and will provide good things for us. This allows us to be content with what we have.

WALK IN THE LIGHT
Our peace has a lot to do with the spiritual atmosphere in which we live. Spiritually speaking, we are what we eat. It's important to support our spiritual life by "walking in the light." "Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable" (Phil 4:8 NLT). In other words, live in the positive and beautiful. Living in the positive fills our spiritual life with light, while dwelling in the darkness of self-pity, judgment, anger, or the negatives in this world, blocks that light.

Finally, choose love. No, don't become preoccupied with doing, but when a choice presents itself, give of the grace you have received. The light of love reacts positively on both the recipient and the giver.

ABIDE
Jesus points out in John 15 that we need to abide in His love to bear (good works). Many seek peace while failing to grasp this central issue. C.S. Lewis states it rather well. "Good things as well as bad, you know, are caught by a kind of infection. If you want to get warm you must stand near the fire: if you want to be wet you must get into the water. If you want joy, power, peace, eternal life, you must get close to, or even into the thing that has them. They are not a sort of prize which God could, if He chose, just hand out to anyone. They are a great fountain of energy and beauty spurting up at the very center of reality. If you are close to it, the spray will wet you: if you are not, you will remain dry."

God's love inspires our faith. It draws us to Him. His love should often be the subject of our thoughts, not as some spiritual exercise but because real love is a beautiful thing to think about. His grace, not doing, should be in our thoughts. This keeps our rigid moral makeup from distorting our life. The power of our spiritual life is directly proportional to the clarity of our view of God and the time we spend in contemplating the nature of His love.

Many of us have a warped picture of God. It's hard to abide in His love and trust Him when that picture is distorted. God is love. Yet many of us see Him as defined by the old covenant. We must ask ourselves the question, how much of our picture of God has been colored by that covenant. How much is defined by the judgment and condemnation God uses in that covenant to constrain, warn, and clarify the predicament of those who have not chosen to follow Him.

SUMMARY
Many ask, "Why isn't this presented in a more straightforward fashion in the Bible?" Straightforward is not always the best means to an end. The Old Testament seldom addressed the ministry of Jesus directly. Yet, that is something we would think necessary. In the same way, the old covenant, with its demands for obedience and judgment for failure, seems to predominate much of scripture. Yet the new covenant is the real goal.

God is dealing with a wide audience. He knows that many would use grace as an opportunity to live an undisciplined life. The call to obedience places some restraint on these. The human heart is also strongly motivated to justify itself. We want to feel good about ourselves. However, our attempts to become good, simply by trying to do right, will frustrate the honest as they see their inability to change by this direct approach. One of the reasons the Bible calls us to obedience is to bring us insight into our need for a spiritual connection with God. We aren't going to seek a connection with a God we can't experience with our senses unless we see our need. A contemplative life is simply counterintuitive. To our natural minds it seems more appropriate to simply work on our behavior.

Spirituality changes us on the inside. As we connect with God's love, faith is kindled, our motives change, our moral authority is redefined. The biblical call to receiving a new heart is another way to look at this. Our hearts are our source of motivation. If our motivation is good, then we'll do good things. If our motivation is bad, we'll do bad things. Our motivation tends to be driven by our needs/wants and fears. Separated from God, those issues often drive us in the wrong direction. Our default to egocentric or selfish behavior moves us in the wrong direction. However, if we place ourselves in God's care and trust in His love, way, and power, we can let go of those old drives. We can rest in God's love and care. Peace, joy, and love will then motivate good things.

Seeing God's love inspires trust in His pledge to work in all our circumstances for our good. This brings circumstantial peace. Dealing with our issues in the accepting and tolerant atmosphere of grace brings moral peace. Abiding in the atmosphere of God's grace fills our minds with faith, hope, and love.